I never knew that I had anxiety until I socialized with some of my college friends.
“What beauty products are you wearing?”
“What do you think about this?”
Stuff like that would make me extremely nervous.
If I say this, then I’ll embarass myself.
If I say that, then no one will believe me.
Making friends in college was a challenge. Whenever I took a long time to answer people, they would suspect that I was either hiding something or lying.
Guilt filled my mind. Sometimes I wished that I didn’t present myself in a certain way. At other times, I believed that I wasn’t being completely honest with myself.
And I wasn’t.
I believe I have anxiety because the way that I view myself contradicts how others see me; I thought of myself as a strange person while others really thought I was beautiful inside and out.
I have body issues. And because I’m an overachiever, I never feel satisfied and successful.
I can’t fully be myself around people because I don’t embrace who I am.
Now that I know that anxiety is one of my enemies, I’m trying to battle it by reading guides, journaling, and talking to a therapist.
Everyday, I want to improve myself.
Since anxiety was something I guess I’ve had for many many years, I want to get rid of it quickly so that it doesn’t ruin my health and successes.