One of My Greatest Enemies: Anxiety

I never knew that I had anxiety until I socialized with some of my college friends.

“What beauty products are you wearing?”

“What do you think about this?”

Stuff like that would make me extremely nervous.

If I say this, then I’ll embarass myself.

If I say that, then no one will believe me.

*Pause*

Now what…?

Making friends in college was a challenge. Whenever I took a long time to answer people, they would suspect that I was either hiding something or lying.

Guilt filled my mind. Sometimes I wished that I didn’t present myself in a certain way. At other times, I believed that I wasn’t being completely honest with myself.

And I wasn’t.

I believe I have anxiety because the way that I view myself contradicts how others see me; I thought of myself as a strange person while others really thought I was beautiful inside and out.

I have body issues. And because I’m an overachiever, I never feel satisfied and successful.

I can’t fully be myself around people because I don’t embrace who I am.

Now that I know that anxiety is one of my enemies, I’m trying to battle it by reading guides, journaling, and talking to a therapist.

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Everyday, I want to improve myself.

Since anxiety was something I guess I’ve had for many many years, I want to get rid of it quickly so that it doesn’t ruin my health and successes.

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